Speaking to The Darkness
Hello.
I don’t want to talk to you or even acknowledge that you really exist, but here we are.
I don’t much like you, and who could blame me? You’ve been with me for as long as I can remember.
You’ve won some pretty big battles, but I’ve won the ones that count.
I control you now.
I’d like to think that you have no power over me and that you never will again. But I’m not so certain, deep down inside. We’ve danced together many, many times.
What do I want from you? Well, let’s turn that around. What do you want from me?
I know the answer. You want power. You want control of me.
That’s not going to happen. I’m seeing what it’s like when you’re in control. You are the darkness that seeps out in the world. You are the easy way out.
You whisper to me when I’m on deadline, tired, stressed. You tell me I’m not good enough. That I’II never get better.
But I’ve never been good enough for you. lt’s not true—it’s never been true. I’ve listened to you and believed what you said, but it’s all lies.
If I hadn’t listened to you I would be further along than I am today, but today is a good day. I’m in a good place in my life. I’m solid and stable and strong.
You can’t take that away from me; I’ve earned it. I will never believe what you say is true. You can whisper all you want, but they are so faint and so weak that I can ignore you now.
I used to turn on music to drown out the sounds you make. I don’t do that anymore. I spit in your eye! The times when I am weak are much smaller, less frequent than the times when I am strong, like today.
It’s all inside of me.
I only have to tap into it.
Sometimes I still struggle.
But I always prevail.
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